You think Bernadette Maguire killed him?”“ Uh… no. She’s, like I said, she’s old.”“ Old people can kill people too.”“ I know, but…”“ She could be a ninja.”“ She’s not a ninja, for God’s sake. She’s somebody’s great grandmother.”“ I want you to think carefully about this, Kenny. Have you ever seen her with a sword?”“ What?”“ How about throwing stars?”“ This is ridiculous.”“ Have you ever seen her dressed up as a ninja? That would have been my first clue.” The girl sucked in her cheeks so she wouldn't laugh out loud. . Derek Landy
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  4. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. - George Carlin
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More Quotes By Derek Landy
  1. Still, he figured, sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do, and then sometimes you've just got to run like hell after it's done.
  2. Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant... The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.
  3. They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, " Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.
  4. We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant
  5. Stairs, " Valkyrie said, disappointed." Not just ordinary stairs, " Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. "Magic stairs."" Really?"" Oh, yes." She followed him into the darkness. "How are they magic?"" They just are."" In what way?"" In a magicky way." She...
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